Prsm' is the social network that knows everything about you, courtesy of the NSA

Social media fragmentation is a real problem in the modern landscape. Foursquare may let you check in at a restaurant, and your Netflix queue may go to Facebook, but who's keeping track of the calls you make from your cellphone or Skype number? What service will give a group of interested strangers access to your email? Where can you turn if you just want to let somebody literally watch your ideas form as you type? Well, you might want to consider Prsm. Not that you have to, strictly speaking. You probably have an account already.

Mind you, Prsm isn't a social network, precisely. Almost everyone you know is on it, but you're only sharing with the highly trained media engagement experts at the NSA, who will use their time-tested sorting algorithms and proprietary XKeyscore software to put you in circles with the people most like you. If you're a non-US citizen located outside the US, you'll have free access to its premium Pinwale database, though we're told at least a few thousand US users will be admitted as part of a closed beta. While Prsm doesn't have the gaming ecosystem we've grown accustomed to in major networks like Facebook, sources tell us that it's internally testing an Ingress -like alternate reality game in which players identify potential terrorists to earn "skilz" points and unlock achievements.